Wednesday, September 30, 2009

That's Not My Name...

There is a song out right now by The Ting's called "That's Not My Name" and to be honest, it is VERY fitting right now.

My boss seems to have a very distinct issue with my name.  He can't remember it, and therefore instead calls me Janelle.

I work at the front desk, I answer the phone, people butcher my name all the time.  Half the time I never see these people anyways, so it's no big deal, Coleen, Julie, all kinds of things.  I even have no issues with when people butcher the spelling of my name (and trust me, with my first and last names, that's an almost daily occurrence).  If I don't spell it out for you...most people would have no idea how to spell it.  Oh some take some interesting stabs at it, don't get me wrong.

Here's the thing...I work with my boss every day.  I'm not in some corner tucked away where he can't see me or deal with me every day.  He sees me whenever he walks out into the main area of our office.  I do projects for him DAILY.  He's taken to the whole "What can I do for ya girlfriend?" when I enter his office with a question.  While I appreciate how casual and laid back our office is, I'm not so sure I'm thrilled with this cop out for not saying my name.

I guess after two months of busting my @$$ for him, it's not enough for him to remember.  I don't know what bugs me more...the fact that he doesn't learn my name or laughs every time I correct him.  I think I deserve at least enough respect from you that you learn my name.  

To him/everyone else it may not be something, but I love my name.  My name is unusual.  You don't meet many Jolene's in this world.  I am named after some amazing women and I'm proud of that.  All I ask is the respect I and my name are due.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Friendly advice...round 2

Ok, so we've covered the profile picture no-no of sandwiching yourself between two Hooters girls here. Now tonight's lesson: if you are going to upload two pictures, fine. However, DON'T post the one where you look like a Dr. Seuss character.

Good grief. Does anyone else see it? Or is it just me??

I swear...

Friday, September 25, 2009

OMG! I did it!!!

Ok, so it's not some monumental occasion to most, but to me it is!!!!

Today was Week 1 Day 1 of the C25K program...and I would be lying if I didn't say I was a bit (ok, a lot) apprehensive going in to this!!! I am NOT a runner! I am a great walker and that was about the extent of my treadmill usage. But today...I RAN. (And no bear was chasing me either!)

The thought of getting this big girl moving at a speed that conjures up images of shock waves going through pavement was not motivating in the least. However...I have a goal to meet. CMM and I have a do the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day. My bff Spartacus has been doing mini triathlons, and I would love to start running a 5K with her too!

I will be giving up watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade to run my ever lovin' heart out. Later that day, turkey will have NEVER tasted so good as it will as victory from running that race!!!

(Is it sick that I'm actually looking forward to day 2????)

I have a goal and I think I can make it!!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

C25K and Big Girl Work Out Apparel

Now for those that have no idea...some are saying something along the lines of "WTH is C25K?". There is a program called the "Couch to 5K" hence, C25K. I have never been a runner. I have always joked that I don't run unless a bear is chasing me. Well, I think that bear has finally arrived.

I've done a few 5K's recently and my time is improving...only by a few minutes, but hey those minutes matter. (To me anyways.) My friend, the Soccer Mom (she knows who she is) the exercising FREAK that she is (I'm kidding Soccer Mom...I envy your ability at the moment!) has been kicking butt. She not only walks like 6 miles plus a DAY (that's a DAY folks...I'm stiff and sore after a 5K ONCE in like a month!!), she manages to run all over town for the 16 billion soccer practices and games for her two kids. Where she finds the energy I will never now. Maybe it's her addiction to Diet Coke, but that's just a guess. Now, I am about to do my 3rd 5K in 3 months (second one this month...actually 2nd this week! Yay me!) and we are already trying to plan out more 5K's we can do together throughout the fall. (Is it sick that I'm actually getting excited about this?)

I enjoy the time with my friends while walking the 5K's, and it's good to get out and get moving. (seeing as how it's been maybe once since my sister's wedding in May that I've seen the inside of the gym by work...) I think though, that it's time for me to step it up a notch. I'm 31. Yup, I said it. Sadly, I am not 18 anymore, so the bod just doesn't bounce back and drop pounds like it used to. I'm sure if I kick my own butt enough, I might drop some (please Lord, don't kill me on the way to a smaller/healthier me!) There are just the typical logistical issues that come up...I'm exhausted after work, I have too much going on, I have plans with friends...etc etc etc. I had a goal before, my sister's wedding. I guess I could use my brother's upcoming wedding as a goal...hmmm. We'll see.

Here's the for active wear that fits well, isn't going to fall apart, and is a nightmare. How is it that the world expects people who are overweight/obese to exercise and lose weight, yet we are expected to wear tents and muumuus (ok, am a bit freaked out...that word was found in the spell check on the computer...yikes) in order to hide those tummies we are sweating our A$$ES OFF to get rid of?? Don't get me wrong...I love my old "Got Favre?" t-shirt and comfy capri pants...but at the same time, I'm tired of drowning in it and would really like to also look SOMEWHAT cute while I sweat.

I've looked at the typical "big girl" stores. Yeah...not much there. Thank the good Lord above for the internet. If you Google "plus size activewear" it is AMAZING what shows up on your screen.

I have just placed a couple orders for things from one store, we will see. I've not had a lot of luck with tops from there, as they not only have a plus sized department (online only b/c God forbid we set foot in one of their actual stores...eep...) but regular brick-and-mortar stores too. It's frustrating because I think I'm in-between sizes and I can't try them on before buying. Costing more money because I have to order two different sizes to try them on to see what fits better. Gotta love shipping costs that increase the more you buy. *pff* the interest of full bod ain't ready for running yet. My knees wouldn't be able to take it, for long. Instead, we ease into this...walking is our friend. We've been doing it for years. Now, to just do it on a more regular basis to work into C25K w/in a week. THAT is my short term goal...walk to the point where I can handle starting this program in one week.

(Crap, now I've said I have to do it!!)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Notches in My Bumper

I work in Boulder...also known as "The Republic of Boulder". Land of the green, home of the left wing. :)

Anyways, being the "green"/healthy city that Boulder is,, there are cyclists, runners and walkers (recreational and serious) ALL OVER. That's awesome, wish I lived close enough to work I could bike, it would save me a ton in gas every month and also would give me a workout. However, I live over 35 minutes away by car, so that's not going to happen any time soon.

However, in the beautiful city of Boulder, the cyclists run rampant and have one helluva sense of entitlement.  They also show up out of NOWHERE.

The other day, I was driving, obeying all the rules (if you know me, I have gotten much better about my driving in the last few years) and this girl (by the way...University of Colorado is less than 10 minutes down the road, so college students abound) comes FLYING through the intersection and I almost took her out.  Would have been a first...but I really don't think I deserved the dirty look she shot me when she was the one that ran the light and intersection!!!

Also, I can be slightly guilty of this at times while on my cell phone as well.  You get wrapped up in your conversation and dont' always look where you're going.  However, when I get close to a major intersection...I at least look around!!!  This girl juuuust kept walking...thank the good Lord I double and triple checked to see if she was stopping or not!  Nope.  Again...plowed right through the interesection!  

Almost got my first pedestrian on the same day as I almost got the cyclist.  

People...look where the heck you're going!!!!!!!

Monday, September 14, 2009

The Drive Home...

So lately, with all the things going on in life, in my head, etc. I have found that life hast gotten to me more than I'd like to admit. So my escape (besides writing here) is in either books or music.

Since I can't read while driving home, music fits in nicely.

I recently downloaded a bunch of new music and since I have a standing tradition with my BFF Cheryl to belt out any Whitney Houston song we know (yes, we are that hysterical to ourselves), particularly "Greatest Love Of All" or "I'm Every Woman", I decided to download her new single "I Look To You" for a good laugh. (Where else but iTunes can you get a good laugh for $1.29??) Well, Ms. Houston got's not a cheesy ballad at all...instead, I found myself drawn into the lyrics more and more...and here ya you can see what I mean...are the lyrics....

As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all

Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song, I look to you

About to lose my breath
There's no more fighting left
Sining to rise no more
Searching for that open door

And every road that I've taken
Led to my regret
And I don't know if I'm gonna make it
Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you
I look to you
And when all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song, I look to you

My levee's have broken, my walls have come
Crumbling down on me
The rain is falling, defeat is calling
I need you to set me free

Take me far away from the battle
I need you, shine on me

I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song, I look to you

I look to you
I look to you

Monday, September 7, 2009

State Fairs, Carnies and Funnel Cakes...oh my...

So our family went to the State fair in Washington every summer when I was a kid. I have distinct memories of ferris wheels, carousels, petting the animals, wishing I could take one of the piglets home etc.

But what I remember more than anything, is the food. (Hmmm...tell you something? Sheesh...) Scones, warm with fresh raspberry jam, and wanting to eat as many as I possibly could. Dad eating farm fresh corn on the cob, dripping in butter. (Yeah, that was all him...) Funnel cakes, still warm and a more than ample serving of powdered sugar on top. Elephant ears...ohhhhh elephant ears.... Ok, quit looking at me weird, I'm not THAT weird. If you have ever been to the fair, you probably have a pretty good idea what an elephant ear is. No, it's not actually an elephant's ear (hello...ewww...tough as shoe leather...who the heck wants to eat that? Never mind, don't answer, I don't want to know.), instead, it's warm dough, most likely fried juuuuust enough to not kill you, then dredged in butter, sugar and cinnamon...omilord...I'm drooling now.

Did anyone else go to the fair as a kid?

Rachel and I went to the Colorado State Fair this weekend. I've lived here for almost as long as I lived in Washington (wow...scary...) and had never been. Now, the state fair here is almost 3 hours away from the metro area, so that has definitely hampered the trip a bit. I can't remember how long the drive to the Washington State Fair was, wasn't driving and always fell asleep on the way home. My parents told me "Tell us how it compares with the Washington Fair!"'s been FOREVER since I've been there...can't remember anything specific really...other than my obvious food memories...

All in all, the CO State Fair was good...lots of folks around...lots of animals, lots of food and the people watching...WOW...lots going on to look at. To quote Rach, not many guys to look at for long, most didn't have teeth! Now, I'm sure there were plenty of folks there with their teeth but let me tell you...the ones that stuck out...whoooooooooooeeee...wowsah...

Oh, and the sidenote? There is a reason you can eat that much crap food as a bounce back in no time flat...I however, am suffering two days later! Between funnel cake, huge pile of french fries, other funnel cake, lemonade...omilord...sugar O-V-E-R-L-O-A-D!!!!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Why Is It...

**DISCLAIMER** This entry has nothing to do with my brother's upcoming wedding! These were just thoughts that happened to be going through my head. read on! :)

That whenever a friend or family member is getting married, drama seems to intensify 30-fold? Now, I have had many a friend get married, and within the course of just under a year, I will have gone through two sibling's weddings. There was one summer, that between my sister and myself, we were either in, related to, heavily involved in the planning of or invited to no less than 10 weddings. TEN. In one summer. Holy bridesmaid dresses Batman.

How is it that so many emotions are wrapped up in the teeny tiny details that go into a day like a wedding day? Is it because of all of the traditions? Is it because of the significance of the day? Or is it because there is such immense pressure to out-do the friend who got married last or make your day everything your Barbie-Dreamhouse-Dreams imagined?

I know of friendships that have ended because they weren't asked to be in the bridal party. Mothers and daughters who have had knock down drag out screaming matches over how the decorations should be. Last I checked, this was supposed to be a celebration of two people making an awesome commitment to each other, not an episode of Jerry Springer.

It never ceases to amaze me the insanity that follows after friends announce that they are engaged. "Oh how exciting! When is the big day? Where are you going to have it?" Um...they've been engaged for 10 minutes, she's lucky her head isn't still spinning!

Now, I'm no expert on the emotions of a bride (seeing as how *stopping to check left hand* I'm not married) however having been the "buffer" (AKA The Maid of Honor or Sacrificial Bridesmaid) enough times, sometimes it just gets to be too much for one person who is supposed to enjoy their day when people are peppering them with questions instead. Word to the wise...if you don't have to ask her opinion, DON'T. Find a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor or close family member (most times Mothers of the Bride are just as nuts as the bride on the big day) to ask your question. Otherwise you risk interrupting hair or makeup being done, or even worse, one of the few calm moments in her day before the festivities.

As for alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll of the details that go into all this, I have watched many friends have absolutely gorgeous weddings, as well as a few odd ones. (Halloween...THAT was an experience!!!) There are so many details, it's mind boggling, no wonder there are many paid professionals (Events Simplified is my event company of choice...and yes, it's my sister's company and yes I am giving her a shameless plug.) to do all your worrying and planning for you!

Here's the thing...all that matters is that the two of you enjoy your day. Some folks that means the fairytale...some that means a backyard. Me, honestly as un-romantic as it may sound...LAS VEGAS. There are days when I think about that day if it will be something I'll want more along the traditional lines. However, if you know me, I am typically one to say "Buck Tradition" and go my own way. I think I might try (listen to me as if something was actually on the too many Dr. Peppers for me today...) to do some kind of a hybrid. Go to Vegas, take a handful of people (meaning less than 10), come home, get settled and then a few weeks later, throw a big party to have the first dance, garter, bouquet etc traditions. In my twisted mind, somehow this seems a lot less stressful!!! find a groom.... ;)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Antiques Roadshow (AKA Basement-Crap-Roadshow) - Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to...ITGD!!

Earlier today, I was having a conversation with our IT Guru, Dave (here after known as: ITGD) and our conversation drifted to those who feel compelled to wear a fanny pack.  If you don't know what a fanny pack is, your definition can be found here.  But seriously...if you don't know what one is by need to crawl out from under your umbrella hat a little more often...

ITGD is a rather hysterical individual and it's to him that I can attribute my W*ii-related injury.  Damn him and his recommendations for highly addicting W*ii games...Boom Blox in particular.

I digress...

So, our banter back and forth was regarding the patient's husband standing in front of me and his fanny pack that he was wearing as a man-purse.  He wasn't even wearing it as a typical fanny pack.  He was wearing it slung over his shoulder.  *Shaking my head*  Our conversation was getting funnier and funnier until we went from the fact that the guy HAS a fanny pack to the typical demographic wearing one.  (FYI...that demographic tends to be the avid garage sale-er.  Which by ITGD's standards is any Baby Boomer on a fixed income *snicker, chuckle, snort*)

His first description cracked me up...

"Gnarled fingers defly move a plasic zipper to grasp the all the important quarter to purchase the find of the century"

To which I responded:
"Hey now...that could wind up on Ant!que R0adshow and they could live in infamy with their bridge buddies!"

ITGD then went on to give me a description of an ep he has seen of AR that absolutely cracked him up.  I asked him if I could use his story, he said yes, and here in its entirety, is ITGD's story about his favorite part of reality tv...take it away ITGD!!!

I’ll admit it - I like watching Antiques Roadshow even though I have little interest in antiques.  Like most things on public television, it’s the human drama that interesting.  It has to be.  Otherwise, it wouldn’t be “Antiques Roadshow” it would be “Basement-Crap-Roadshow”.  We are treated to the occasional fascinating, unexpected piece of history.  One of my favorites is the 15th century Italian parade helmet found stuck in grandma’s rafters in an effort the keep the squirrels out.  Fancy squirrel block for a quarter of a million dollars.  Other finds are interesting because of the family histories involved.  Grandpa’s civil war sword; grandma’s letter from Teddy Roosevelt; a stick of furniture with history lost to the sands of time.  Its the people that make the antiques interesting.  Without them, is a hunk of metal, a bit of paper, and stick of wood.  These are the casual antiquarians we usually see.  Many people watch NASCAR for the wrecks, I watch AR for much the same reason.  My favorite AR wreck goes something like this…

Some guy comes onto the screen quite sure of himself, quite puffed up, taking control… and, always with a fanny pack.  [Fanny packs were *never* a good idea for many reasons.  (1) Bustles and bustiers haven’t been in vogue for about 100 years.  (2) For the type of person that wears a fanny pack above their fanny - is this *really* the part of your body to which you want to draw attention? (3) Fanny packs are as cool as leather vests.  (4) Wearing a fanny pack in front makes it a tummy pouch pack.  Again, is this where you want to draw attention? (5) Men - pockets, women - purses, joggers/runners - do you *really* need all that crap while you run?]  He strides in front of his “find” and stares into the camera like David Brinkley announcing the assassination of the president.  The “expert” has to wait quietly while all this peacocking goes on.  The expert opens the conversation by asking about the story behind the “piece”.  Mr. Goodbar tells the story of how this very valuable antique was brought over on the boat from the old country by great-great-great-great someone.  Of course, the voyage was tough, the ancestor @@pristine, and both the ancestor and piece barely survive.  Then the story continues about how it was lovingly passed down through the generations to the most intelligent, inspiring, and loved offspring.  (Which explains without saying why it’s on possession of Mr. Goodbar and none of his other good-for-nothing siblings.)  He recently came into possession of the adored family heirloom and wants to know more about it’s history… and value… for insurance purposes ONLY!  He’d never dream of parting with this piece of family heritage.  He resumes his Brinkley-esque stance to receive the news that he’s inherited the most valuable piece of antiquity this side of King Tut’s tomb.  He patiently waits and acts interested as the expert explains very interesting” things about this type of furniture/watch/toy/axe/driftwood.  As the expert comes to the end of the “generic” explanation, Mr. Goodbar prepares himself for what he know’s is coming - he has *at least* $500,000 on his hands if not more.  He braces himself, prepares the tears of joy, keeps his hands at his side so they don’t shoot up in the air when the announcement comes… Finally, the moment arrives. The expert announces that the “piece” (note the missing end of that popular phrase) was made not in the 1820s, the 1720s, the 1620s, or the 1520s.  It was made in Pittsburgh in the 1920s, mostly likely by child slave labor.  The only thing it has in common with “the boat from the old country” is rank smell and some rotted wood.  Oh, and it’s worth about $15 if a professional cleans it up.  Mr. Goodbar then cries into his fanny pack all the way home.

I love public television.

And this is why I look forward to ITGD's visits to our location...not only does he magically fix whatever is ailing our computers...but I get to have a great dose of laughter at the same time!!!!  By the way, never get in a "Flair War" with ITGD...he's lethal.  I had "The Final Countdown" stuck in my head for days after our last battle.  *sigh*

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


I sit at the front desk in my office (see previous thoughts on this here) and unfortunately, my desk is also quite the dumping ground for other people's things.  I can handle this for the most part because there is a part of my desk that I don't use as often, so therefore, it's kind of an almost no-man's-land (if you will).  I am CONSTANTLY trying to clear it off though so that I don't look like a crazy person (any more than normal) who can't seem to keep my projects under control.  I actually manage to maintain this fairly well.

My job also entails making sure I have the hospital account information ready and in our charts so that Dr. M can dictate and write up his superbill (I know, first time I heard this word, I thought 'Seriously...SUPERbill?  What the heck is so SUPER about it?  Turns out, fancy name for charge sheet.)  

IF someone-who-shall-remain-nameless would quit taking charts before we at the front desk are done with them, then we wouldn't have half the issues with labels and demographic sheets we do, let alone trying to track down a chart if he/she has moved it from where it is supposed to be.  On the other hand, if someone-who-shall-remain-nameless would do their job ahead of time and double check for any reports that we may be missing, someone-who-shall-remain-nameless wouldn't come rushing out of a patient's exam room in a panic either.  I guess it's slightly a double edged sword, however, it's not rocket science for someone-who-shall-remain-nameless if he/she would pull her head out of her patootie.

*Deep breaths iiiiiiiiin...deep breaths ooooooooooout...*

Namaste Grasshoppa...Namaste...