Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Blog I Started A While Ago

Yeahhhh...so I started this forever and a day ago...and there is some good stuff in here...but I also whine a bit...

I started C25K and I debated even saying anything to anyone. Instead, I posted how excited I was after my first run, and received amazing amounts of compliments and comments of support. I fell off the wagon for a little bit (a week) and am back on it. I have to force myself to go to the gym. I need to somehow get my mind back into the game of going to the gym right after instead of steering my car homeward. Before Melissa and Chris' wedding, I was dedicated...every night after work, and I had put out a ton of money to have a trainer to kick my ass back into gear. I don't know if it was because of that oh so fun dress, or was it because I felt like it was about time I finally did something or what...(okay, I know the answer to this, most of it was the dress...big girl arms in a strapless dress...photos don't lie)

My life seems to never stop. I've kind of talked about this before. I love my friends dearly, and I adore spending time with all of them. I am lucky in a couple ways because I am still single, I can come and go as I please, don't have to check with someone else's schedule, I don't have to rush home. However, I do work.

I work hard. I take pride in my work and what I do. My job is relatively easy compared to say, being a doctor, lawyer, high powered executive etc. I am a Medical Administrative Assistant, Insurance Verification Specialist, Insurance Authorization Specialist, Scheduler, On-Site IT lackey and Office Supply Coordinator. Allllll rolled up into 40 hours a week. No more. Overtime is a big no no. I leave work at night and am so mentally exhausted, the only thing that sounds even remotely do-able is vegging out in front of the TV.

I am a girl who has an extremely hard time saying no to things. And normally when I do say yes to so many things, I am exhausted by the end of everything, but I love it because apparently my body doesn't like it when I just sit. (Btw...I never just sit.) I worked two jobs for years...and at one point for about 6 months (maybe less) I worked 3 at a time. Yeah, I had no life. Now, I work one job, and fill the rest of my time with friends, volunteering and somewhere in there I think I sleep. Well, I know I've said before, that I would really like to un-busy myself somehow. This would entail me needing to start saying no to things when asked. (Sidenote...I'm in Starbucks and they have a Tony Bennett ballad playing and I love him, but now I'm feeling all kinds of sleepy...lol) I have to report, I am rather proud of myself, while I struggled to decide if I should finally say no or not...I did. It was hard...I had to say no to something that I truly love doing. But when I did finally send off that email stating that I just had to step down to be fair not only to them but myself...I had a couple of feelings...one of dread of what these people were going to think of me and another of sheer relief. I had said that I would be able to deliver something and the more I got involved, the more I saw that I just wasn't going to be able to do that so I felt it was in everyone's best interest if I stepped down before things ramped up so much that I was failing them. Yeah, that didn't go over so well, but thankfully b/c it was a volunteer position, there wasn't TOO much grumbling.

(Okay, it's now been FOREVER since I started this and since I have another thread in mind, I need to publish this one so it isn't nagging me anymore...so there.)


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