Sunday, July 19, 2009

Pure and Unadulterated Frustration.


It's not like I haven't been trying. I have spent countless hours and numerous dollars to try to change my "relationship status". eHarmony,,,, all doing nothing but drive home the point that I was/am PAYING for rejection. I get this plenty on my own...remind me again WHY I'm paying my hard earned money for this "service" I already get for free? (Dangit...I just lost a huge paragraph I just typed out here...grrr) I have gone at least 3 rounds with 2 of the afore mentioned websites. If you have ever looked into ain't cheap. I'm also not just sitting out there with a great profile and recent (!) pictures that actually look like me. I actively try to put myself out there. I make contact. All with no results. A friend who also has gone through the online dating thing pointed out that of all the contacts he made, he only actually met up with 2 or 3 people. However...he at least had responses. I get to a certain point (rarely past the first couple questions) and WHAM. Match closed. Again I ask...WHY do I PAY for rejection? ARGH.

I normally have no issues with the fact that I'm single, however every so often that freakin' voice in my head shows up...and somehow manages to wiggle out of the box I have her locked in.

"Yeah, if you only looked like THAT you'd so be in a relationship or married by now...but look at"

There is a reason that voice is locked in a box. She's a bitch. I am who I am and I am worth it dammit. Now if only I could find the lock again...

On a second new gym membership card arrived the other day. I think it's time to break it out and start using it again. I do miss the burn of a good workout, I miss feeling stronger. I did get a great compliment from my brother-in-law though today. I have felt pretty sure that I've put back on most of the weight I lost before their wedding. I mentioned this today and he looks at me, and says " you haven't! You still look great!" this addition to our fam...

Now, if only I could find what obviously the rest of my family has...dammit, where is that LOCK????

1 comment:

Barefootin said...

A few of us have checked into websites and - is still available we are talking of using that for a dating site - any interest?? :) I too am sick of the rejection pool on the web!! I have however found a man for me in FLORIDA that really only wants sex - interested??

Love you hunny xoxoxo