Why Is It...

**DISCLAIMER** This entry has nothing to do with my brother's upcoming wedding! These were just thoughts that happened to be going through my head. Thanks...now read on! :)

That whenever a friend or family member is getting married, drama seems to intensify 30-fold? Now, I have had many a friend get married, and within the course of just under a year, I will have gone through two sibling's weddings. There was one summer, that between my sister and myself, we were either in, related to, heavily involved in the planning of or invited to no less than 10 weddings. TEN. In one summer. Holy bridesmaid dresses Batman.

How is it that so many emotions are wrapped up in the teeny tiny details that go into a day like a wedding day? Is it because of all of the traditions? Is it because of the significance of the day? Or is it because there is such immense pressure to out-do the friend who got married last or make your day everything your Barbie-Dreamhouse-Dreams imagined?

I know of friendships that have ended because they weren't asked to be in the bridal party. Mothers and daughters who have had knock down drag out screaming matches over how the decorations should be. Last I checked, this was supposed to be a celebration of two people making an awesome commitment to each other, not an episode of Jerry Springer.

It never ceases to amaze me the insanity that follows after friends announce that they are engaged. "Oh how exciting! When is the big day? Where are you going to have it?" Um...they've been engaged for 10 minutes, she's lucky her head isn't still spinning!

Now, I'm no expert on the emotions of a bride (seeing as how *stopping to check left hand* I'm not married) however having been the "buffer" (AKA The Maid of Honor or Sacrificial Bridesmaid) enough times, sometimes it just gets to be too much for one person who is supposed to enjoy their day when people are peppering them with questions instead. Word to the wise...if you don't have to ask her opinion, DON'T. Find a bridesmaid, Maid of Honor or close family member (most times Mothers of the Bride are just as nuts as the bride on the big day) to ask your question. Otherwise you risk interrupting hair or makeup being done, or even worse, one of the few calm moments in her day before the festivities.

As for alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll of the details that go into all this, I have watched many friends have absolutely gorgeous weddings, as well as a few odd ones. (Halloween...THAT was an experience!!!) There are so many details, it's mind boggling, no wonder there are many paid professionals (Events Simplified is my event company of choice...and yes, it's my sister's company and yes I am giving her a shameless plug.) to do all your worrying and planning for you!

Here's the thing...all that matters is that the two of you enjoy your day. Some folks that means the fairytale...some that means a backyard. Me, honestly as un-romantic as it may sound...LAS VEGAS. There are days when I think about that day if it will be something I'll want more along the traditional lines. However, if you know me, I am typically one to say "Buck Tradition" and go my own way. I think I might try (listen to me as if something was actually on the horizon...pfff...one too many Dr. Peppers for me today...) to do some kind of a hybrid. Go to Vegas, take a handful of people (meaning less than 10), come home, get settled and then a few weeks later, throw a big party to have the first dance, garter, bouquet etc traditions. In my twisted mind, somehow this seems a lot less stressful!!!

Now...to find a groom.... ;)

Antiques Roadshow (AKA Basement-Crap-Roadshow) - Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to...ITGD!!

Earlier today, I was having a conversation with our IT Guru, Dave (here after known as: ITGD) and our conversation drifted to those who feel compelled to wear a fanny pack.  If you don't know what a fanny pack is, your definition can be found here.  But seriously...if you don't know what one is by now...you need to crawl out from under your umbrella hat a little more often...

ITGD is a rather hysterical individual and it's to him that I can attribute my W*ii-related injury.  Damn him and his recommendations for highly addicting W*ii games...Boom Blox in particular.

I digress...

So, our banter back and forth was regarding the patient's husband standing in front of me and his fanny pack that he was wearing as a man-purse.  He wasn't even wearing it as a typical fanny pack.  He was wearing it slung over his shoulder.  *Shaking my head*  Our conversation was getting funnier and funnier until we went from the fact that the guy HAS a fanny pack to the typical demographic wearing one.  (FYI...that demographic tends to be the avid garage sale-er.  Which by ITGD's standards is any Baby Boomer on a fixed income *snicker, chuckle, snort*)

His first description cracked me up...

"Gnarled fingers defly move a plasic zipper to grasp the all the important quarter to purchase the find of the century"

To which I responded:

"Hey now...that could wind up on Ant!que R0adshow and they could live in infamy with their bridge buddies!"

ITGD then went on to give me a description of an ep he has seen of AR that absolutely cracked him up.  I asked him if I could use his story, he said yes, and here in its entirety, is ITGD's story about his favorite part of reality tv...take it away ITGD!!!

I’ll admit it - I like watching Antiques Roadshow even though I have little interest in antiques.  Like most things on public television, it’s the human drama that interesting.  It has to be.  Otherwise, it wouldn’t be “Antiques Roadshow” it would be “Basement-Crap-Roadshow”.  We are treated to the occasional fascinating, unexpected piece of history.  One of my favorites is the 15th century Italian parade helmet found stuck in grandma’s rafters in an effort the keep the squirrels out.  Fancy squirrel block for a quarter of a million dollars.  Other finds are interesting because of the family histories involved.  Grandpa’s civil war sword; grandma’s letter from Teddy Roosevelt; a stick of furniture with history lost to the sands of time.  Its the people that make the antiques interesting.  Without them, is a hunk of metal, a bit of paper, and stick of wood.  These are the casual antiquarians we usually see.  Many people watch NASCAR for the wrecks, I watch AR for much the same reason.  My favorite AR wreck goes something like this…

Some guy comes onto the screen quite sure of himself, quite puffed up, taking control… and, always with a fanny pack.  [Fanny packs were *never* a good idea for many reasons.  (1) Bustles and bustiers haven’t been in vogue for about 100 years.  (2) For the type of person that wears a fanny pack above their fanny - is this *really* the part of your body to which you want to draw attention? (3) Fanny packs are as cool as leather vests.  (4) Wearing a fanny pack in front makes it a tummy pouch pack.  Again, is this where you want to draw attention? (5) Men - pockets, women - purses, joggers/runners - do you *really* need all that crap while you run?]  He strides in front of his “find” and stares into the camera like David Brinkley announcing the assassination of the president.  The “expert” has to wait quietly while all this peacocking goes on.  The expert opens the conversation by asking about the story behind the “piece”.  Mr. Goodbar tells the story of how this very valuable antique was brought over on the boat from the old country by great-great-great-great someone.  Of course, the voyage was tough, the ancestor @@pristine, and both the ancestor and piece barely survive.  Then the story continues about how it was lovingly passed down through the generations to the most intelligent, inspiring, and loved offspring.  (Which explains without saying why it’s on possession of Mr. Goodbar and none of his other good-for-nothing siblings.)  He recently came into possession of the adored family heirloom and wants to know more about it’s history… and value… for insurance purposes ONLY!  He’d never dream of parting with this piece of family heritage.  He resumes his Brinkley-esque stance to receive the news that he’s inherited the most valuable piece of antiquity this side of King Tut’s tomb.  He patiently waits and acts interested as the expert explains “very interesting” things about this type of furniture/watch/toy/axe/driftwood.  As the expert comes to the end of the “generic” explanation, Mr. Goodbar prepares himself for what he know’s is coming - he has *at least* $500,000 on his hands if not more.  He braces himself, prepares the tears of joy, keeps his hands at his side so they don’t shoot up in the air when the announcement comes… Finally, the moment arrives. The expert announces that the “piece” (note the missing end of that popular phrase) was made not in the 1820s, the 1720s, the 1620s, or the 1520s.  It was made in Pittsburgh in the 1920s, mostly likely by child slave labor.  The only thing it has in common with “the boat from the old country” is rank smell and some rotted wood.  Oh, and it’s worth about $15 if a professional cleans it up.  Mr. Goodbar then cries into his fanny pack all the way home.

I love public television.

And this is why I look forward to ITGD's visits to our location...not only does he magically fix whatever is ailing our computers...but I get to have a great dose of laughter at the same time!!!!  By the way, never get in a "Flair War" with ITGD...he's lethal.  I had "The Final Countdown" stuck in my head for days after our last battle.  *sigh*

NOOOOOOOOO TOUCHY!!!!

I sit at the front desk in my office (see previous thoughts on this here) and unfortunately, my desk is also quite the dumping ground for other people's things.  I can handle this for the most part because there is a part of my desk that I don't use as often, so therefore, it's kind of an almost no-man's-land (if you will).  I am CONSTANTLY trying to clear it off though so that I don't look like a crazy person (any more than normal) who can't seem to keep my projects under control.  I actually manage to maintain this fairly well.

My job also entails making sure I have the hospital account information ready and in our charts so that Dr. M can dictate and write up his superbill (I know, first time I heard this word, I thought 'Seriously...SUPERbill?  What the heck is so SUPER about it?  Turns out, fancy name for charge sheet.)  

IF someone-who-shall-remain-nameless would quit taking charts before we at the front desk are done with them, then we wouldn't have half the issues with labels and demographic sheets we do, let alone trying to track down a chart if he/she has moved it from where it is supposed to be.  On the other hand, if someone-who-shall-remain-nameless would do their job ahead of time and double check for any reports that we may be missing, someone-who-shall-remain-nameless wouldn't come rushing out of a patient's exam room in a panic either.  I guess it's slightly a double edged sword, however, it's not rocket science for someone-who-shall-remain-nameless if he/she would pull her head out of her patootie.

*Deep breaths iiiiiiiiin...deep breaths ooooooooooout...*

Namaste Grasshoppa...Namaste...

All's Quiet on the Western Front

So this weekend has been just as I eluded to...quiet. I love this yet at the same time, if this happened every weekend, I could surely turn into a hermit VERY easily. Mom and Dad are out of town, Baxter is boarded at the vet, and I had action packed plans this weekend. All plans have fallen through and I have left the house ONCE in 48 hours. To Target. (Wewt, shoutout to Target!!)

I finished a book, started another one, and had a fit of the giggles SO bad at one point while reading, I'm sure my neighbors thought I was having a seizure (I was reading on the back porch). I highly recommend Jen Lancaster's books (thank you Terra) not only because they make you literally laugh out loud, but her writing is as if she was reading your mind. If not yours, then definitely mine. The section that had me laughing so hard? If you read her second book (Bright Lights, Big Ass), there is a section discussing the progression of the oh so fun game of "Slug Bug". I leave it there, as not to ruin it for anyone else. There were multiple other moments I laughed and giggled, but NONE like that section. I couldn't shake what I had read so I even broke down and wrote the author...now there's something I've never done before. I can also say I haven't been this taken with a book since my all time fav, To Kill A Mockingbird. (Jen Lancaster, if you ever read this, yes I just compared Bright Lights, Big Ass to TKM...in my paltry book, THAT'S BIG).

Tomorrow night is WAFFLE NIGHT! Now some would say 'WTF is waffle night?'...ahhh...let me teach you young one...(honestly, it's more of a joke than anything else...)

This whole thing started as a huge joke last year, and has been added to by a trio of Hallmark characters, Hoops and YoYo, and their little friend, Piddles. Waffles was the main theme (I'll spare you the whole card, it's rather entertainingly random.) and so then it became a joke when Chris and Melissa went to register regarding a waffle iron. Chris was vehemently against registering for one stating that it would only end up in the Cliff Huxtable Kitchen Electrical Appliance Graveyard. The deal became, if they registered for one, then Melissa would have to use it at least once a month the first year of their marriage or else he can sell it in a garage sale. Well, Kurt thwarted that, and gave one to her (the one she was going to register for) for her birthday instead. SO it has just escalated from there, becoming an ongoing joke. Well, now we stumbled on to the fact that tomorrow, August 24th, is National Waffle Day. The day that the inventor of the waffle iron received his patent. We have initiated a fun new get together...look out waffle bar, here we come!!!

Okay, it's now waaaay past my bedtime, and I have to be perky tomorrow, we have patients again! Please Lord, let vaca have been good for The Good Doctor...(I can hope right??)

A Mish-Mash, if you will...

So here I sit, at work, and I am bored.

I know that quite a few people have this problem daily. I really do love my job, 8 days out of 10.

For the last three weeks, our machine has been undergoing a big overhaul and upgrade. Now it's all kinds of spiffy (even more than before, as CMM still is in awe of the machine he is yet to see in person). Not only has our machine been down (so to speak) but The Good Doctor has been out of town on vacation, climbing some godforsaken mountain range in Europe. (Must be nice...I know...)

SO! As I sit here pondering what I can blog about so that it looks like I"m actually typing up more forms (I've got about 30 done so far, I deserve a fun typing break) and instead I'm blogging, I have struggled to find something to post about. I have come up with a couple of things...

1) My email conversations (read: tangents) with my good friend C. Daily the two of us Front Desk Jockeys share tidbits about life, our patients (w/o naming names of course, we aren't THAT dumb), our co-workers etc. Now, this used to happen when the two of us worked for different practices that shared office space. Now, neither of us work in the same office space, however she is still with the same practice. C has Beans (her now 7 month old adorable munchkin) who we discuss often and she sends me fun pictures of Beans up on all 4s (she's about to crawl) and entertains me with how she can just see Beans starting to have eagle-eye sights on the cat's tail or the dog's back leg. It's just a matter of time before someone loses some fur. C and I used to see each other weekly at our women's group, but now that THAT has imploded (long story...mucho later will I talk more about that...if you're lucky) we don't get to see each other nearly enough to satisfy either of us. We have had a couple of our Chipotle dates (don't underestimate the power of a Chipotle margarita...holy hell...$4 and stronger than most "nice" restaurants!!!!) so we can catch up, laugh hysterically (literally drinks have been snorted, falling out of chairs has been extremely close to happening...it's rather hysterical to watch) and then we have to go on our merry way(s).

Our email tangents run the gamut from how Beans is doing, how are she and her hubby doing, to how things were with my former roommate, to the obnoxious things patients say or expect, the way co-workers seem to have extremely high opinions of themselves...all kinds of things. This week however, our tangent has been extremely focused on a member of the NFL. Namely a certain quarterback who we both ADORE and would drop whatever man we may be with if he ever gave either of us the time of day. The rest of the story will be delved into shortly in my next bullet point. One of my favorite email threads with C was when we were planning her baby shower with our women's group, and I was asking her what type of cake she wanted. C has fought off gestational diabetes so when she found out from her gawd-awful glucose test that she wasn't diabetic, my first question was (and I quote) Sooo...what type of cake do you want for your shower?"

2) The Betrayal.

This week, my life was sent spinning when a certain NFL quarterback who is extremely talented decided to send his loyal fans into a royal sh*t fit. I speak of the oh-so-talented yet oh-so-daft Brett Favre.

I love this man. I have for years. C, myself and my friend AQ have all taken turns saying how we would all put him on our "List". (You all know what I'm talking about...if not, I'll tell you when you're older.) I have been a loyal Green Bay Packers fan since college. However...Brett left us in a huge ordeal of a retirement press conference two seasons ago. Then, oops, I'm not done, I'm going to go play for New York and wear the wrong shade of green. Ok, I got over that pretty easily. I can honestly say I didn't tune in to many NYJ games...I'm a Green Bay Cheesehead. Godspeed. Now, I've said he should have stayed retired since he left Green Bay. Instead, the jerk decided yeah, STILL not done after retiring AGAIN. Of all the teams he can go to, he goes to MINNESOTA. Wow. Green Bay's rival...the only way to have made that worse was to go to the Bears. (That was a direct friendly dig at my friend Chris, he's a great guy, just a Bears fan...we all have our faults.) Back to Brett...honestly going to Minnesota was like spitting in the face of 16 years of Green Bay fans and a team that GAVE YOU YOUR CAREER. Before Green Bay, you were a pine-pony riding snot nosed rookie in Atlanta. Now, you are a record-holding, hall-of-fame caliber (I may hate his team choice, but the man is still an amazing football player...can't deny that.) quarterback who can command obscene amounts of money for what you do.

Traitor

3) Fantasy Football

If we are gearing up for Fantasy Football season, guess what else is right around the corner...you got it...REAL NFL FOOTBALL. I don't know what it is...maybe it's one of the things that rubbed off on me so much from working at ESPN Zone. I went in a rabid hockey fan, but in the last couple years, I've become so much more of a football fan! Maybe it's the fact that I was drawn more into the football world with Fantasy Football...I actually had to pay attention to what was going on so that my own little team of men wouldn't get trounced on every game! The other very valid and possible reason...football plays once a week...hockey plays so often I lose track! Don't get me wrong, I still hold a dear place in my heart for my toothless grinning hockey boys. My attention has merely shifted. For good.

And on that note, I leave you for now...good luck and Godspeed!!!

Relay Has Come and Gone and a Myriad of Other Thoughts...

Wow...that was fast. 

It seems like just yesterday that I had mentioned possibly getting more involved in Relay close to church. Relay was Friday and stretched into Saturday. It was great! I missed being involved like I was the first go round, but holy buckets...this time was a LOT hotter than when I did it before! Anyways...it was great. Good times with my folks that came out and walked with us, and had great friend time with all my girls. I don't get to just sit and chat often enough with most of them, and I am constantly reminded why I love my friends. They are all amazing people. This year was still emotional for me when they read my Grandma and Aunt's names, but I guess in some way it starts to get easier? I'm not sure yet. I know it's still tough on my mom. The Relay committee was recruiting me pretty hardcore...I don't know yet. The thought of dealing with planning a Relay while all the crap with work is going on makes me want to shoot myself in the head (which somehow has become my new catchphrase...). However, I keep telling myself, next year, there is no way to tell if work will be this crazy or not.

C came out to walk with me for a while, and we had so much fun...skipping, doing the monkey dance (not to be repeated most likely) and gossiping like 2 teenagers. Hey, we may be a few years removed from actually having those years attached to us...(ok, so we're almost double that age, but hey, we've accepted it, so should you...move on) but we never tire of our weird sense of humor. Hard to believe that she and I have only known each other a couple years, feels like a whole lot longer than that!

My BFF is in town from Arizona...we got to spend an entire day doing classic J and Ch things...is it absolutely terrible that I just don't feel like we got to go into everything we need to? Like there's this feeling of something unfinished. Can't quiiiite put my finger on it. Hmm...she's still here for the rest of this week, I think getting together on another day besides the night of her birthday party is going to have to be in order. (Sidenote...this blog has taken me a bit longer than normal to finish, I've already had an extra dinner w/her.  Yay!)

Work is a bit of a quandary right now.  We're all in the adjustment phase b/c we have a new manager.  D is a nice guy, I guess I liked working for my last boss (MO) so much, it's weird to have to hit the brakes and switch gears now to figure out this one's new ins and outs.  It's amazing how people's nuances are soooo different from person to person.  I'd like to think I'm actually doing really well with the change.  I know that I'm handling it better than my co-worker TCI (The Crazy Italian).  She was so used to just doing things w/o management involvement, to have D asking questions is driving her berserk.  I guess habits for a very stubborn, 50 year old, Italian woman are hard to break.  

With our new standard RT system going in, I have a lot of forms to re-create for our new doctor, Dr. S.  My inner nerd is rejoicing because I get to play on the computer for the rest of the week (like I don't do this every day...oh wait, was that out loud??)  but the other part of me that knows every time I sit down to tweak forms, I'm going to be interrupted by the phone ringing is cringing...wheeeeeee.  

Well, I guess that's about all for today...thus far.  Stay tuned...

Volleyball...my lost love...

So, after going to Lake day with Fusion yesterday, and playing volleyball (or a sad rendition of it anyways) with folks, I have realized a couple things.

1 - I'm not as young as I used to be, and therefore, I don't bounce back like I used to either!

2 - I miss playing volleyball desperately.

3 - I need to get in better shape to play.

4 - I'm still not a fan of sand court v-ball, but I still have a love affair with indoor traditional court volleyball.

5 - I have a long way to go, but I think I'm finally ready to kick my own ass into gear to get there.

Now, as I sit here blogging this all out...I'm watching the priceless gem of a TV show, "Made" on MTV...do they make Made coaches for "grown-ups"? ;)

Things I've Heard While Sitting At the Front Desk...

This could also be known as "things I've pretended to work while listening to".  

I sit at the front desk at my office.  I am out in the open with full access (and listening distance) to patients' families.  Some of the stories I hear make me ill, make me laugh and make me cry.

I work in oncology...this is NOT a fun disease. 

The ones that make me ill are the family members who don't care what the patient wants, they are going to drive this patient to kingdom come and back because they aren't ready to let go yet, but the patient is just done fighting and wants to go home.  The other ones that make me ill are the patients who don't care who they offend, they are who they are (which I respect to a point!) and are going to tell dirty jokes to their grown daughter and since he's hard of hearing, will ANNOUNCE THEM TO THE WORLD.

The ones that make me laugh are my patients who come in, and with their cute little bald heads shining (if they've just finished chemo) will tell me jokes, laugh about stupid things going on in the world and their family members who sit in my waiting room, waiting for their friend or family member.  

The cases that make me cry, are the parents of the 13 year old who is back for his FOURTH round of accelerated radiation, the little old married couple who are in their 90's and she's trying to stay strong while the love of her life is fighting for his.  (They are also one of the cutest couples you will ever meet.)  

I have heard everything from the traditional small talk "(insert descriptor here) weather we're having!", "oh that's a nice bag!", "what are you making?" (many folks bring some kind of craft to keep themselves busy) to the more serious, when they discuss a patient's progress or how they have been responding to treatments.  

I consider myself lucky to be where I am at.  I have a daily appreciation for the life that I have.  I try to make a concerted effort to make any patient's appointment, setup, or treatment as easy as possible, it's the least that little ol' me can do in this crazy time of their lives.  Plus...happy doctor + happy patients = no drama.  Well, I take that back...there's always drama...there's just less of it if you keep the other two happy!  

Pure and Unadulterated Frustration.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.

It's not like I haven't been trying. I have spent countless hours and numerous dollars to try to change my "relationship status". eHarmony, match.com, plentyoffish.com, christianmatch.com, all doing nothing but drive home the point that I was/am PAYING for rejection. I get this plenty on my own...remind me again WHY I'm paying my hard earned money for this "service" I already get for free? (Dangit...I just lost a huge paragraph I just typed out here...grrr) I have gone at least 3 rounds with 2 of the afore mentioned websites. If you have ever looked into it...it ain't cheap. I'm also not just sitting out there with a great profile and recent (!) pictures that actually look like me. I actively try to put myself out there. I make contact. All with no results. A friend who also has gone through the online dating thing pointed out that of all the contacts he made, he only actually met up with 2 or 3 people. However...he at least had responses. I get to a certain point (rarely past the first couple questions) and WHAM. Match closed. Again I ask...WHY do I PAY for rejection? ARGH.

I normally have no issues with the fact that I'm single, however every so often that freakin' voice in my head shows up...and somehow manages to wiggle out of the box I have her locked in.

"Yeah, if you only looked like THAT you'd so be in a relationship or married by now...but look at you...yeah....you..."

There is a reason that voice is locked in a box. She's a bitch. I am who I am and I am worth it dammit. Now if only I could find the lock again...

On a second note...my new gym membership card arrived the other day. I think it's time to break it out and start using it again. I do miss the burn of a good workout, I miss feeling stronger. I did get a great compliment from my brother-in-law though today. I have felt pretty sure that I've put back on most of the weight I lost before their wedding. I mentioned this today and he looks at me, and says "Uh...no you haven't! You still look great!" See...love this addition to our fam...

Now, if only I could find what obviously the rest of my family has...dammit, where is that LOCK????

I Think I Found the New Marley…and my ode to the wireless internet connection.

I’ve blogged before about my adventures in house and dog sitting, and have given my laundry list of things that while are in no way a requirement, but are definitely greatly appreciated.  Some of these things include a list of anything I might expect during the week, ample supply of pet food (if required), a decent supply of human food (hey…I can’t bring my fridge with me…) and the one geeky thing I crave, an Internet connection.  I can’t complain too much, I have all of the above.  Plus to be fair, not long after I blogged about house sitting before, I took myself out of the business.  I took this job strictly because it's a chance for me to get out of my house, and these are dear friends.

As I write the latest of my mental ramblings, I sit in a dear friend’s house with their less than 1-year-old dog.  This dog is ADD on crack.  (Self described by my dear friend, the dog’s owner.)  I’ve known from many a soiree here at Homestead X that the neighbors to the north of the house don’t like the folks that call this house home.  Didn’t realize how much this was really true until this time around.  You see, this was the first time I’ve stayed at the X’s since they’ve gotten “Marley”. 

Sidenote: I call him Marley not only to protect his identity, but it’s an accurate description.  Now, you may conjure up in your brain a lovable ball of yellow fur, and rightly so if you’ve read the book and/or seen the movie “Marley and Me”.  However, let me straighten you out a bit…big enough when he jumps on me to almost put his paws at my waist and not exactly a lap dog.  Oh and not that color matters, but he’s not yellow or golden.  Try ebony with a few splashes of white.  Don’t get me wrong, “Marley” is a sweet dog and as I saw earlier this week, he would bark fiercely at anyone trying to talk to me while we are in the house.  I digress…

Apparently Marley likes to bark.  A lot.  I don’t know how accurate this is though because I, like most of the human world, work during the day so I am not home to monitor his barking habits, volume, etc.  The crotchety little old man who lives next door however has plenty of retired living time to monitor this for me as well as alert the local authorities as to the amount of barking that has been going on.  Now, in the interest of full disclosure, my life has been a LOT more hectic this week with work than has been in the regular past so I’ve gotten home later than normal this week.  How nice of him to then come and inform me of his decision to call the police AFTER he has already done so.  Thanks dude.

All dogs bark, all dogs chew and all dogs go to heaven.  Of these three things I’m sure.  I’ve also come to the realization that there are more than just a few fictional dogs (the real Marley) that aren’t big fans of thunder and lightening storms. “Marley” being one of them.  I was home for a few good solid hours after work, played around with him, etc.  I was informed by the owners (who sadly, I had to call on their vacation to see what to do with him while I was at work because I really didn’t want the neighbor to make good on his threat to call the cops AGAIN and face coming home from work to a noise disturbance (or whatever it would be) ticket on the door and the dog taken to the pound) that they had gotten a hold of a friend to take him to the dog park and wear him out sufficiently for me during the day.  A trip to the park that I’m sure “Marley” not only enjoyed, but also needed.  My hope was that with the trip to the park, he was worn out enough that if I locked the back door, and was only gone for 2-3 hours (it was 2.75, I timed it) he would be fine.  Enter Mother Nature, stage left.  Thunder, lightening and torrential rain.  I come home…to 3 poops and one pee stain in the carpet.  Wheee.  I can’t blame him, I technically said "Sorry, you can’t go outside for the next 3 hours, so hold it."  He just got too worked up to hold his little insides in anymore.  It’s cleaned up, I’m over it, w/e. 

The bigger “adventure” so to speak has been hoping that when I got home, the only destruction I would find would be stuffing out of his beloved chew toys.  Apparently, “Marley” has an affinity for DVD’s.  And not just one movie, like an entire season of a show at a time.  Our standing total thus far (and we have 2 days to go) is 7.  Yes, all of the DVD’s have been moved.  However, the two other stuffed animals that he has found, were on top of a roll top desk.  I swear, this dog is part monkey.  Oh, and he apparently loves breakfast cereal, I mean come on, what dog doesn’t right?  The other thing that Marley has become fond of is firewood.  What better than something that splinters to be gnawing on right?  Oh well, as long as it's outside, I don't really mind.  It's when he brings it INSIDE we run into a problem.  Well, I finally discovered his supply of firewood inside and managed to get that put away.  I must say that Oreck XL vacuums...totally live up to their hype.  This sucker SUCKS!  (and I mean that in a good way...it's a vacuum for crying out loud)

I was warned to put my own things up and out of sight if I wanted them to remain intact.  Thankfully, that hasn’t been a problem and all of my shoes are still my shoes and have no chewing marks on them.  Thank you Jesus for doors the dog can’t open.  However, as of last night, I have my first casualty.  Now, this wasn't just left lying around either.  The dog has chewed through my power cord for my laptop...*sigh* sadly THAT is not going to be cheap for his parents to replace...

As for my affinity for a wireless Internet connection, it’s something that is purely selfish, plain and simple.  The ability to use my own computer where I have things where I want/need them, the ability to be anywhere in the house and use my computer instead of in one room.  (Okay, that part is probably me just being lazy, plain and simple, but still…it’s me.)  I always feel a bit guilty using someone else’s because I never want to accidentally screw something up.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going anywhere I shouldn’t, but some people’s computers are a bit more finicky than others.  Yes, I could go somewhere that has free wi-fi, but when I’m watching a house and dog like “Marley” if I’m able to stay home with him, I’d rather…to prevent any other problems, neighbors or chew toys alike.  Plus, who doesn’t like surfing the web from the comfort of pjs and sitting on your bed?